How to be Dead

Song of the Day: How to be Dead by Snow Patrol

I recently quit my job. I either quit or I was fired. I really don’t remember what happened the past week. I just know I’ve been too paranoid and anxious to leave my house.

On a brighter note, I’m going to Scotland next year! I’m either going to attend the University of Glasgow or the University of Edinburgh. I was accepted into both. To be quite honest, I applied to a number of universities in the United Kingdom when I was having some kind of hypomanic episode. One of my friends was telling me how great it would be to go to the UK and so I spent the next few days applying to universities.

I have absolutely no idea.

On another note, now I have time to focus on things that I actually like doing, such as playing the piano, writing, and spending time with my dogs!

I just wish I had it in me to go see my friends, or at least reply to their calls and messages. I just… I hate explaining what’s been going on in my life to other people.

“What have you been up to?”

“Oh, why haven’t you been in school?”

“You’re looking a little thin. Are you okay?”

Okay, I have to admit something. I’m a compulsive liar. It’s really easy for me to lie to someone, anyone. The only person I don’t lie to is myself.  It’s quite sad, really but I don’t feel much guilt over it.

So I lie, and lie, and lie. Everything’s so twisted that I’m actually starting to believe it.

The truth only comes out in my writings.

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