Song of the Day: Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head by BJ Thomas
In honor of National Suicide Prevention Week I thought I would share a bit of what’s been keeping me more hopeful these days.
I haven’t contemplated taking my own life since these two handsome boys came into my life. I’ve written about Riley and Zeus in the past but I would just like to reiterate how much they’ve helped me through this shaky recovery process.
Back in April I suffered another manic episode that landed me in the ICU, and after that I was even more disillusioned from people. My social anxiety became even more severe and I wouldn’t leave the house. The thought of interacting with people, even close friends, gave me panic attacks. It was so bad one time that I was sent to the ER to be sedated.
Then one day I began to volunteer to foster dogs for an animal rescue group. I found that caring for these animals just uplifted my spirits. I fostered several puppies before I fell in love with the black labrador above named Riley. Zeus, the Rottweiler puppy, was adopted by my older brother about a week or two later. It became easier and easier to interact with people because I had one or both of them with me.
Having to be responsible for another life really changes your perspective on things; at least it did mine. Riley and Zeus gave me reasons to get up in the morning, to take my medication, and to get out of the house. And, well, dogs love you unconditionally and I guess that’s what I needed at such a low point in my life.
If you’re reading this and you believe that suicide is the only solution for you at this point, please think about reaching out for help. That was the most difficult step for me. I needed to swallow the bit of pride I had left and admit that I needed someone else. I’m probably not the greatest example, as I have a long history of noncompliance but as I stated in my letter it’s been a work in progress. I’ve been actually trying more and more these days.
As cheesy as this sounds, pain is temporary. I know it seems like it’ll never end but trust me when I say that the healing process will begin. You just have to keep fighting and always remember that you’re never alone. Believe it or not, I actually suggest group therapy. You’ll be surrounded by a supportive group of people who more or less know exactly how you feel. You’ll be surprised.
Just in case: Here is the Suicide Prevention Lifeline and you can click the “Contact” button on the left sidebar to send me a message.