Song of the Day: The Christmas Song by The Raveonettes
Hellooooo! It’s been a while since I’ve written and I miss it. Well, lately I’ve been writing in my personal journal… Okay, that’s a lie. I wrote once or twice.
Even though I was done with all my Christmas shopping and what not, I was in such a Christmasy mood that I sat in bed all day and watched Christmas movies. I think I watched Home Alone (1-3) at least three times each. They had a marathon on AMC and so I couldn’t help it. And then there’s all the Christmas movies that I already own! And so that’s been keeping me pretty busy.
Oh! I also got Just Dance 2014 and my sisters and I have been playing. It’s so much fun. I really can’t dance and so I just look incredibly foolish attempting to mirror the moves but that doesn’t matter, right? I was having a lot of fun. If you love party games, you should definately get it. It won’t ruin friendships like Super Smash Brothers or Mario Kart. I just wish there were more songs available to download or unlock.
Anyway, tomorrow my sisters and I are planning on making some peppermint bark and hopefully gingerbread houses. I’ve never had a chance to make a gingerbread house before so I’m pretty excited for it.
Speaking of sisters, I have one actual full, blood-related sister. I’ve known her the entire sixteen years she’s been alive.
If you have a younger sibling, you know exactly what I mean when I say that you love them as much as you hate them. Well, hate is a strong word. Maybe a strong dislike. My sister and I are exactly four years and three days apart and for years I couldn’t stand her. Mostly it was because we shared a room and she would always take my things. You know, all those typical younger sibling kinds of things. She knew exactly what to do to get on my nerves.
It actually wasn’t until I left for university, late 2011, that I actually started tolerating her because, well, she wasn’t there anymore. It was only then I realized my responsibilities as an older sister. That’s really when I began feeling overprotective over her. I was pretty confrontational when it came to the people who would hurt her in some way, even a sixteen-year-old cyberbully.
We can mess with our own siblings but no one else can.
Now she’s going through most of the things that I went through as a teenager. I can’t help but give her as much information as I can about how I handled things at the time but our personalities are somewhat different and we face problems differently. At the same time I want her to experience all those different things because you learn from experience, right?
One of the few things I never want her to go through is the eating disorder. It’s just so exhausting and discouraging, and I wouldn’t want anyone to go through it. I’ve been struggling with it for at least seven years but some days I still refuse to eat, or just purge out the ‘regular-sized’ meal that I ate. It’s really difficult and I’m trying to do as much as I can to prevent it from happening.
And then there’s all that depression, self-harm, and mania that I experienced. My bipolar disorder manifested when I was around fifteen or sixteen, so I’m a little worried. I know the possibility of having bipolar disorder has a lot to do with genetics so I’ve been looking for any kind of sign of its manifestation.
Okay, I’ll finish writing about this another day. It’s almost four AM and this is getting fairly lengthy.