Storefront Window

In response to the Daily Prompt: Outsider.

Look at them… having the time of their lives, as if the consequences of their actions wouldn’t exist the next day. I’ve wanted nothing more than to just be a part of that fun. It’s not for the lack of trying. I did try but that was all in vain. There was something missing; I just couldn’t put my finger on it. With my hand pressed up against the glass, I sighed. I would always be an outsider.

The store was just too damn expensive.

Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I just couldn’t help it. That was the first thing I thought of when I read “outside looking in.”

In all seriousness when I read the prompt I couldn’t help but think about my teenage years. I’m sure that at some point during your life, you’ve felt a bit out of place in some way. It could be because of virtually anything.

What really made me feel alienated from my peers was my mental illness. Long before I was diagnosed, I had a gut feeling there was something a bit off about me and I was so sure that everyone felt the exact same way. I spent so much time burying my true self in order to fit in with the people I thought would continuously be in my life.

Even throughout my university days I tried to be this person that could somehow fit with a certain group. I joined so many different clubs only to leave all of them. Maybe it was my anxiety with others that kept me away from others. Or maybe I really did feel like everyone could somehow tell there was something wrong with me.

It took me a while to find out that when you’re on the outside everything looks different, warped almost. You give yourself this illusion that somehow life would be better on the “inside” so to say when in fact being outside gives you a unique point of view. These days I actually do love being a so-called “outsider”.

Whether it’s from a certain group or society in general, being on the outside isn’t so bad. It’s actually a lot of fun.

Who knows? Maybe everyone inside wants to break free and join you.

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