Turning Sixteen: Heartbreak Edition

Response to Daily Prompt: Sweet Sixteen

Are you ready to see what I looked like as a sixteen-year-old?

BAM!

sixteen

I looked incredibly different, didn’t I? I was quite sassy as well, not that that’s much of a change from today.

My sixteenth birthday was during the summer between my second and third year of high school in 2009. I actually don’t even remember how I celebrated that day. I’m pretty sure it was the usual dinner with the family. I didn’t even think about throwing a party because the thought of having to entertain multiple guests gave me a great deal of anxiety. My type of fun involves video games and aimless chatter.

I never really understood why turning sixteen was such a huge deal in this country anyway. In the Philippines eighteen was the golden year, though I didn’t make a fuss about that either.

I was a junior in high school when I was sixteen and I didn’t spend much time with friends. It was actually the year that I severed much too many friendships and so I consider it the turning point involving my relationships. I remember losing my first love that year, even after doing everything I could to repair everything. Let’s call him Chester because I don’t know anyone by that name and I really don’t wanna say his real name. You know how they say you never truly get over your first love? That’s true, at least in my case. It’s still a tender subject for me so it’s painful for me to even write about it here.

Because of the poor status of my relationships with the people I used to call my best friends, my depression worsened. I blamed myself for what happened and so I felt horrible. My self harm and eating disorder resurfaced once again because I was desperate for some kind of control in my life. It was a self-deprecating period for me.

So what did end up happening?

Unfortunately this post is only about my sixteen-year-old self.

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