Actually it’s about four PM where I am right now but I was thinking about this at five AM.
Before I continue, I would just like to say that I haven’t had a chance to look at my notifications so if you sent me a message, commented on something, or replied to my comment I have not seen it.
I’m not in the best kind of mood today. Actually, I feel pretty terrible right now.
I walked past the hospital I was forced in a last year and I just had a burst of anxiety and I had all these flashbacks about everything that happened to get me in there. I don’t really know how long I was standing there until I finally walked away to grab my refills (I usually never get my own but my dad’s getting home late).
And then last night/this morning I spoke to the one person that always seemed to affect my mood no matter how much I fight it. It’s not like it was a bad conversation. But you how when you talk to someone who used to be so important to you after a long while? You just… reminisce about all those good times you had with the person. That’s what I did and it made me realize that I missed all of it.
After all that contemplation, I just wanted to forget about all of the memories because I hate the feeling of longing for something.
Now I’m just sitting here, tired and dejected.