Hello. I’m still melancholy. And I’m still sorry haven’t had a chance to catch up with my notifications and my reader. I didn’t even feel like writing today but I promised myself I would post something every single day this year. I’m not about to give up at the end of the first month.
You see that food up there? It was a spinach mushroom omelet with hollandaise sauce and two pieces of French toast. It sounded amazing. And it really was, I have to admit. I almost finished it all because I was starving. But it didn’t stay in my stomach as long as I hoped it would.
I haven’t been eating too much the past few weeks so that suddenly large amount of food was overwhelming and I just… well, you know the rest. I’ve never actually purged in a public bathroom before but I did today. I waited for the other person to leave and then did it. I felt completely ashamed and I had to spend an extra few minutes composing myself before leaving.
This is my entire cycle. I’ll refuse to eat for weeks, binge and purge for a few days, and then refuse to eat again. I’m half sure that I’m eating a normal amount of food but to me that’s a binge.
It’s a sickness really.