Chapter Three: A Crippling Divorce

Chapter One: Guard Dogs and Barbie Dolls

Chapter Two: Two Years, Three Schools

After years of watching and listening to my parents fight and argue, when I was in middle school (or maybe it was a little earlier), they finally filed for divorce. My sister and I initially ended up living with my mom, and my brother with my dad. That didn’t bother me too much because we all still lived in the general area of San Diego and attended the same primary school.

Me, Nadire, and Josh
Me, Nadire, and Josh

I lived in moderate comfort in my mom’s condo. It was the first time I ever had my own room and my own space. But it seemed like I spent more time at my dad’s apartment, which was closer to my school anyway. My siblings and I would simply walk the two blocks to the apartment and my mom would eventually pick me and my sister up. She came later and later everyday until she just didn’t show up for days. She would return every once in a while and act as if nothing had happened. I found out rather late that my mom had been seeing someone else, my current step-dad now, and moved to Los Angeles.

I was angry about that for years but I’m getting a little too ahead.

Christmas circa 2004
Christmas circa 2003

Suddenly my dad had to take care of three kids on a single, meager income. As I mentioned before he worked for a non-profit and at that point still wasn’t a permanent resident here in the States so his paycheck straddled the border. To be honest, this entire period of my life is mostly a blur. I, however, do remember clearly living off 7-11 hotdogs and Monster energy drinks for months when my dad was on the verge of filing for bankruptcy.

My brother and I were around twelve and thirteen respectively, and we basically had to take care of ourselves and our younger sister because my dad had to work extra hours to compensate.

Yet another Christmas
Yet another Christmas

Yes. Like many others, I am a product of divorced parents. Did that affect me in any way? Of course it did. I was angry, devastated, and completely lost. As a child, I expected my parents to stay together for the rest of their lives. Every kid believes that. So when that was shattered, I was disillusioned.

With everything seeming to spin out of control, I needed something.

That something just happened to be a razor.

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