Winter coats: you take them out when you need them and expect they’d still be in your closet waiting for you even if you don’t.
Sometimes, I feel like I’m treated just like a coat by the people I know. It just seems like I only exist when they need something. It’s happened to me so much in the past that I become skeptical anytime someone contacts me out of the blue. Of course, sometimes it’s just a friend trying to catch up and that’s completely alright.
But there’s a specific difference.
At times when I question my self-worth, I can’t help but become a doormat all over again because it’s nice to be needed by someone… anyone. I don’t realize it at that time but after the fact, I end up with deeper scars and even more doubts about my self-worth. I’m usually quite vocal and assertive, at least I’ve learned to be the past few years, but… I have a soft spot when someone needs any kind of help. I try, I really do, but it’s difficult for me to ignore requests.
I know perfectly well that I can’t make everyone happy. My perfectionist tendencies just takes over me sometimes.
But… I don’t want to be anyone’s coat.