I realized that I have a terrible habit of making promises for the sake of desperate conversation.
Sometimes I do keep those promises, but I’m ashamed to admit that most of the time I don’t. The feeling that accompanies a broken promise is… dejecting. Well, it depends on the promise of course… Nonetheless, it’s an unpleasant feeling that no one really wants to experience. I don’t, and yet I inflict it on to others.
It’s like I can’t help it. I’ve been fighting my people-pleasing tendencies, and so I agree with others on regards to invitations (unless it would put me in a scenario where I’d be extremely uncomfortable). What’s worse is that I don’t take responsibility for my commitments. I’ll brush it off like it’s nothing and hope it would never be spoken of again.
I just don’t have the confidence and courage to end those commitments. I don’t want to admit that I’ve broken a promise, no matter how ingenuine it was, and so I like to pretend that I never made the promise in the first place or find a scapegoat.
It sounds like I’m quite a horrible person, doesn’t it? But I doubt I’m the only one who tends to do it… not that that makes it any better.
Or maybe at the time, the promise is sincere but over time it became less genuine and I didn’t feel obligated to act on it. Everything in life is transient isn’t it?
Or maybe that’s just me trying to make myself feel better about my past actions.
It’s just a thought.