You may already know this but I’m quite an anxious person. There are many things in day-to-day life that completely freak me out. And it’s not even the “normal” type of anxiety; it’s the “on the verge of an anxiety attack” type of anxiety. I worry about too many things long before they are schedules to happen, which is the reason why I don’t take surprises all too well… not even surprise parties.
If you’re reading this and you know me personally, don’t ever ever ever throw me a surprise birthday party. I would appreciate your time and effort planning it but I would need to plan ahead of time for all the social interaction that would inevitable take place. The anxiety related to social situations that I get is probably the worst of them all. Well… maybe it’s tied with public speaking. By the way, my definition of “public speaking” is talking to more than four people… or just one person if it’s some kind of job interview.
Even getting phone calls from people who are not my immediate family members give me anxiety. For this reason, I don’t answer my phone if I don’t recognize the number or if it’s someone I don’t speak to on the phone on a regular basis. I really do try but the moment my phone rings, my heart drops and I start sweating. Then I spend about the entire time it rings deciding whether or not to answer. It’s usually the latter.
I mean I have so much social anxiety that I have to know who’s going to be at the event I’m attending. I don’t have to personally know the person but I would like a “there are some people you don’t know coming” rather than completely being caught off guard by the whole situation. Does that make any sense? I know I can be quite irrational sometimes which then leads me to the fact that my irrationality feeds my anxiety.
Let’s talk about roller coasters. I am terrified of roller coasters and I mean “I will probably start crying if you force me to ride one” terrified. I can be quite paranoid and so I truly believe that all roller coasters are unsafe and that if I go one one it’s going to malfunction. Depending on the rollercoaster, the chances are probably slim… but it’s still there and that’s all that matters to me. I’m actually scared of most rides, especially waterslides because it involves height, speed, and water. Just thinking about it makes me anxious.
I don’t even really know why I’m writing about this… Well, I guess it’s because when I went to Universal Studios they had simulations rather than actual rides. I liked that… And also because I was at Jack-in-the-Box around almost midnight and since there was hardly anyone there I legitimately thought that someone was going to come in and rob the place. It’s also the reason why I don’t like going to gas stations at night.
I guess I’ve just watched too many movies and read too many articles on the news. Ignorance really is bliss, isn’t it?
But don’t mind me. I’m just ranting about… not really anything. I just started writing and it ended up being the regurgitation of a bunch of things I’m scared of. Sadly, there is so much more to all of that.
It’s funny because my last post was all about having the courage to pursue your dreams. I’ll cross my fingers that I don’t run into any roller coasters… or phones.
So, ahem, anyway… If you read all of that, congratulations. What are some situations that make you anxious?
Obviously, I will not judge you.