Repelling Humans and St. Andrews Trip

I joke around with my close friends a lot about being the type of person who tends to “repel” other human beings. I actually have substantial evidence for this, mostly from my experiences at UC Berkeley. I usually sat in lecture with a radius of empty seats, and I am not exaggerating. You would have had to be in my class to truly understand.

But anyway, I wanted to write about my first day of class, or maybe everything that’s happened the past few days.

This past Saturday I took a trip to St. Andrews, which is a bit more north than Edinburgh, with a large group of international students. It was absolutely beautiful. The moment I stepped out of the bus I was in awe, and somewhat overwhelmed by the smell of the sea. But, being from San Diego, it just smelled like home.

We went there mainly for the Cathedral and the Castle. In the prior, I killed my legs jogging up the spiral staircase of the tower. Don’t ask why I didn’t just walk. I don’t know why either. I think I was too excited to get to the top. In hindsight that was probably a terrible idea because the steps were short and the space was small. The climb down was terrifying though because I had to look down and realize just how high I really was.

The castle was even more beautiful. I went into all of the available rooms, including the Bottle Dungeon, which was a house for miscreants. My favorite part was the underground mine the attackers built in an attempt to break down the castle walls. However they were thwarted by the creation of the countermine that the defenders hastily dug up. The latter was absolutely tiny and I felt like the walls were closing in on me. But it was a good experience.

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The view from the top of the tower at St. Andrews’ Cathedral

As for today, it was the first day of classes. I would say it was a pretty successful day. I showed up on time and in the right places. And, like I mentioned earlier people actually sat next to me. Well, they had to because the first few lectures are always packed. We’ll see what happens within the next few weeks.

I actually think it’ll be a nice first-semester-back semester since I’ve taken all these courses back in Berkeley. It’s somewhat like a review, which is always nice especially since I haven’t really studied math or computer science since the beginning of 2013 just before I dropped out.

Speaking of which, I keep getting asked how I could possibly be a 21-year-old freshmen. I got tired of explaining the whole dropping out for personal reasons and that whole thing, not that I really got into details about it, so now I just say that I took some time off. Hey, I’m not ashamed of being older. But I do find it strange being with so many people younger than me. Age doesn’t matter but I do feel like I’m more mature than most of the first years since I’ve already had university experience and I guess I’ve always been a bit mature for my age. I’m not trying to be pretentious in any way…

I don’t know what I’m saying.

I did manage to speak to some people who sat beside me in lecture and asked a few for their Facebooks and/or number. I usually don’t like to do that because I feel like I’m suffocating others.

I haven’t gotten the hang of social interaction just yet.

Have a good week!

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4 thoughts on “Repelling Humans and St. Andrews Trip

  1. Hello again! 😀

    “I haven’t gotten the hang of social interaction just yet.”

    Me neither! I try, all the time, and I always feel like you, like I’m, well… not exactly ‘suffocating’ them, but like I’m inflicting myself on them! And when I do talk to people I feel like I’m making mistakes all the time and still have that anxious/nervous feeling! I’m not saying I haven’t made progress, because I have, I never used to go out, stammered (stuttered) badly, walked with my head down and never made eye contact with anyone. But that feeling still remains.

    Another thing, I upset people a lot without even knowing it! I’ve been told it’s because I’m blunt, honest and have no boundaries, that would be right for someone who’s introverted, eh? I’ve become more aware of what pushes peoples buttons so I can function in a social setting, though it still happens! And when it does I feel like a complete idiot! This is why some people not only avoid me but are scared of me, so I know what you mean about the empty seats in your previous Uni classes!

    Can I ask, do you ever feel you just want to be alone, like quite a lot, that being around people is too much and it’s sort of mentally exhausting? Then other times you crave social interaction and comfort? I don’t mean this in a standard human way, I can go for days without talking to or seeing anyone and be ok with it, a lot of humans don’t like that.

    Aaaaanyway, I’ve rambled on too much, I shall bid you good day and wish you all the best in your classes! 🙂

    – Phil

    1. Hello!

      Pertaining to your reply from my last post, I have not actually been called “Hen”! That sounds so strange. haha. But I agree. When it comes to Americans, people think you’re coming on to them. I’m always a little afraid guys think I’m interested in them because I joke around a lot and am just pretty nice in general. I know in the US, the culture is a little like that but I’m not sure around here.

      And yes! I have those days when I just really really really need to be by myself. I get really exhausted being around people all the time. And it’s not them, it’s just me. But yeah, I have those times when I just want to talk to people.

      Well, when I want to be alone, sometimes I’ll talk to people via Facebook or something. I’ve been pretty socially exhausted these days but I’ve been talking to my friends from back home a lot.

      Thank you! It was actually kind of a boring day for me since I realized that I remember quite a lot from when I was in uni a few years ago. haha.

      Good day!

      – Deirdre

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