Hello, old friend! Come in! Please, sit! Coffee? I got quite a lot as a Christmas gift.
Take some chocolate. They’re straight out of Brussels!
It really has been a long time, hasn’t it? And I actually mean it this time! We last spoke in September, and it’s already January.
How’ve you been? You know that you should go first or else I’ll ramble on for some time…
Well, I warned you.
I’m quite good these days, much better than I was at the end of 2015. From around October until the end of December I went through a deep deep depression. I just… hit a slump and the news of an illness in my family made everything worse. I couldn’t get myself to do anything, especially not my coursework. I mean… it took every ounce of energy that I had to get through a single day. I couldn’t get myself to get out of bed let alone spend hours at a time coding a program.
It came to a point where I purposely oversedated myself.
And that’s when I went back home to California. Everything became too much for me to handle and I just wanted to be in the comfort of my home. So somehow I managed to pull myself out of the rut I was in, just enough to study for my exams, though I’m still a bit doubtful that it was actually enough. I guess we’ll find out soon, right?
Around that time, I started thinking about how much of my mental health I was willing to let deteriorate just for the grade… Of course, my stability is much more important than some silly university grade, and I know that… but it was still a tough decision for me. To be honest with you, I did stop taking my medication for a bit, just so I could tap into the inner mania that had “helped” me so much when I had to take my exams in Berkeley. I should’ve spoken with you… in hindsight I was stupid, I know, but… I couldn’t help it.
I guess I still have some things to work on, but I’m optimistic that this semester will be much better for me. I promise to keep you updated this time. I swear.
But enough of that, let’s get on to my holidays.
I spent my holidays in Brussels and in Stuttgart with my boyfriend and his family. It was actually the first time I was in mainland Europe. Yes, I know I’ve been in the UK for about a year. It’s just hard to find time, okay! Plus, I’m not the most wealthy person so I can’t just hop over any time I want. Anyway, Brussels was an absolutely beautiful city, though I was completely lost due to my lack of French skills. Before you ask, yes I ate a lot of mussels, chocolate, fries, and waffles.
Those chocolates are from Leonidas. Great, aren’t they?
I had some amazing food in Germany as well, but I didn’t manage to really tour around Stuttgart because we weren’t there for too long. Nonetheless, it was nice and I was less lost because I at least know a smidge of German. Oh, did I tell you I’m taking German again this semester? I’ll let you know how it all goes. Maybe being in the country reminded me a bit of what I learned before… Maybe.
I won’t go into too much detail for now, as that may take some time, not that I want you to leave any time soon.
So… let me grab one of these white chocolates and you can start.