nodus tollens: n. the realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore—that although you thought you were following the arc of the story, you keep finding yourself immersed in passages you don’t understand, that don’t even seem to belong in the same genre—which requires you to go back and reread the chapters you had originally skimmed to get to the good parts, only to learn that all along you were supposed to choose your own adventure.

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Welcome to a blog as disorganized as my mind.

So you stumbled upon my blog, huh?

How do you like it so far? A lot? Not so much?

Well, that’s fine with me. I’m flattered that you even stopped by since I’m sure not many do.

Can I ask you something? I know, I know, I may have asked you too much already. But this one’s really important. Do I look intimidating to you? Apparently some people think so, but I swear I’m a nice person… unless I’m sleepy or hungry. But who isn’t in a foul mood when deprived of such things?

I can give you a lengthy list of things that I like or enjoy but if you read my blog long enough then I’m sure you’ll find out sooner or later. Instead I’m going to keep having this little small talk with you.


How about coffee?

Or you can just sit there, pretend like you’re listening, and nod. I’d appreciate that too. At least you’re trying..

What would you like to hear about first? There’s my depressing, yet sometimes pleasurable, teenage years; my several mental breakdowns; my days in the institution; my extra large dogs who like to suffocate me; my biting humour that sometimes offends others; my favourite sports teams; and my future aspirations that involve a bit of hacking… the white hat kind. I could actually talk about almost anything, really. I said almost.

Oh, I’ve been rambling so much that I forgot to tell you my name. It’s Deirdre, pronounced “Deer-druh”. You probably couldn’t have guessed that unless you were Irish because apparently my name originates from Ireland. It’s actually quite lovely meeting someone from Ireland because I can bug that person into saying my name in that beautiful accent. It’s one of my favorites actually.

As you can tell, I just have a boring American one… not even Bostonian or Southern or anything interesting like that. Plainly American.

It’s a pleasure to meet you, or so I hope. I guess we’ll find out… hopefully.

So who am I?

I’m just a twenty-four-year-old with bipolar disorder and… a few other problems I guess. It’s a bit strange actually saying that outloud… it makes them real, which they are so I guess it’s for the best I know that now. Go ahead… I know you want to ask me about them but are just too anxious about hurting my feelings. Trust me when I say that you will not offend me by asking. I’m an advocate to reducing the stigma on mental illness… so go on and ask.

I think I’ve been talking about myself for far too long now. Now that you know a bit about me, you have to tell me about yourself. It’s always great to meet someone new.


32 thoughts on “About

  1. Hello! Loving your blog layout. It’s really pretty! May I ask how your blog title Nodus Tollens came about? I’ve heard of modus tollens as an argument structure but not nodus tollens, so I’m rather interested to know what that is!

    I get how you feel, I’m turning 20 this November and I still look like I’m 16. Hm. Looking forward to your posts, they look pretty interesting to me. 🙂

    Happy New Year! 🙂

    1. Thank you for the lovely comment!

      I actually got Nodus Tollens from (http://www.dictionaryofobscuresorrows.com/). Wow, the definition is right there in the front. The definition really fit how I felt when I first started the blog sometime in the middle of last year so I just kept it ever since.

      Haha, I think I’ll look sixteen for a little while BUT it’s gonna work to our advantage in the future!

      Happy New Year to you as well. I wish you and amazing 2014.

      1. That’s really interesting! I’m gonna take a look at the other words in that website.

        Yeah, the only bad thing is that people can’t seem to take young faces seriously so we gotta prove our capabilities as mature young adults haha!

  2. Your story is so powerful and inspiring. I hope to be there on your journey as well. That opening bit felt like you were talking directly to me! I love the personal feel of your blog; don’t lose that. As long as you keep writing (I like your style by the way) I’ll keep on reading.

    1. Thank you so much! I don’t open up to much people in real life so when I write, I tend to direct it to someone. It’s just a lot more natural.

  3. I like your blog and your blog layout!! You have really done it beautifullly. Nice about me page. Bipolar runs in my family, I understand how tough it must be. You sound like such a strong person despite it and like you said, you will not let it define you. I’ve also had an eating disorder, in the past, its tough being a women to say the least. That’s another type of disorder that people need to take more seriously. I really look forward to looking through your blog! And yep, I’m studying at Berkeley right now! In my last year. What about you? 🙂

    1. Thank you! And yeah most people don’t really think of eating disorders as an illness. It’s pretty sad that it’s not taken as seriously as other mental illnesses because it could be just as dangerous.

      I actually had to take a leave of absence from Berkeley last year because of my disorders. I couldn’t even concentrate on my studies. Instead of returning though, I’ll be studying abroad in Edinburgh, Scotland!

  4. A powerful blog you have over here. Both by the appearance and above all by the content. I’m glad to have find you. Thank you for following my blogs “From five to fifty” and “Life is great”. I wish you the best.

      1. I know that feeling, it’s taken me two years to find one that actually works for my writing and even now I keep tweaking bits here and there.
        Would you fancy checking mine out? I’ve been trying to drum up interest for my story ‘Headquarters’ which I’m trying to write as part of my blog but my post on the community pool doesn’t seem to have pulled many people in.

      2. Of course! I actually just read the first portion of ‘Headquarters’ and it’s quite interesting. I was actually just writing a fiction about a team of agents. Well, it’s just for me and I don’t think I could ever show my own work to anyone. haha. But I really do like yours.

  5. Thanks for following my blog, which gave me the chance to meet you. Wow, your writing is so real, it IS as though you are speaking to me from across the table. Here’s to learning about who we are in this big world!

  6. You have got an interesting name there Deirdre!
    I can also relate to Nodus Tollens…in fact I guess everyone does. I believe the universe has no meaning for us, we are just a mere existence. We can only face what comes in front of us.
    I am a person who is unable to express what goes in my head, there’s so much inside but no exit point. Even writing this takes so much. I just can’t explain it. Just blank. Anyways, it was your blog that led me into writing all this even when it doesn’t make sense (or does it?? O_o ). Just felt like sharing this as you shared your inner workings. Thanks 🙂

    1. haha Thank you! It’s strange because it seems so normal to me now because I’ve met quite a few Irish people and my name is just that.

      Anyway, I completely get you. Sometimes I stare at a blank post for hours trying to figure out how to put my thoughts into coherent sentences. My mind can be such a mess sometimes so I pretty much write in a stream of consciousness and hope that someone manages to understand. haha.



      1. Its great to know that there is always someone that will understand you. The world is still worth giving a chance..haha.
        Thanks for the reply..I really appreciate it.

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